Marriage

I see them over there. Two young turkey scouts looking for the hole in the fence. Finding not one hole big enough for a turkey, they flap over. Do turkey fly? IMHO, turkey only fly enough to save themselves or kill themselves, whichever it is remains debatable. But after witnessing...
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But where to put it. I knew it was coming. Dump my narrow, clear water glass on the carpet? Gross and too small. The wastebasket is actually wicker with large separations, so no. My purse? Open the window screen and vomit outside? But I had already managed...
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In my defense, Hubby cannot hear. Ten years ago we were in the grocery, in produce. I asked him to bring the corn. I am walking away and see him looking on the floor. I ask, "What did you lose?" and he says, "You told me to get the worm and bring it along."...
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I had the most vivid dream.... I was kidnapped from the mill, taken on a barge and sold as a Japanese sex toy. The guy who bought me took me on a ship headed somewhere but when he found out I was toothless he turned around and took me back to Japan and got...
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I remember my first case of adult poison ivy. Thirty years ago. I thought it was a grape vine. Yes, Hubby and I were pulling these huge amazon vines out of trees on the land we just purchased by the Wolf River. The neighbor stopped by and said,...
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My daughter knew this could not fare well when they arrived home, so she told her little daughter, ”If you can’t say hawk the right way then at least you have to tell Daddy that Mama loves him.” But sometimes you see it coming and there is no changing a thing....
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The dessert menu reads that it is sweetened with natural juices. Two sentences later, "Sweetened with aspartame." Eyeroll.... I make the mistake of saying it aloud. "That is not naturally sweetened and suggesting an ice cream sundae to Hubby. Our waitress makes a definite point to tell me it is...
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This hawk is so forward. It just sits over the birdfeeding table in the winter skeleton of the highbush cranberry tree and waits until an unsuspecting wild bird comes to feed..... But I have to ask? Isn't there an alarm watchguard? Besides me?.... What bird would come? Really. Don’t they...
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To my defense, once upon a time I always scooped them up to take them outside and make a nice plot of leaves and stones for them to live under far from the house, just like I do for the mice. To my defense, I used to take my hanging lamps apart to get...
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Wing dog pile at side of neighbor’s garage. When it sticks you know they might get the idea.... Recycle coffee cans for neighborly gifts..... Pick up before the lawn crew arrives...... Wait until it freezes then rake it into piles and pick up... hoping the lady of house does not slide through it...
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